Fake Life June 9th

 

I’ve asked prayer for my health. I’ve asked prayer for my neighbor. I’ve sked prayer for my job and living situation and I’ve asked prayer in the past over my marriages. Yet nothing really improves. My recent job was perfect enough to keep me satisfied and I lost that because I got too comfortable.

I truly believe the only reason I’ve lasted over this bar for more than 2 stressful, painstaking years is because I’ve never felt comfortable here. I’m always on edge and can never relax. I’ve rarely been to spend any time praying.

My headphones drown out everything this neighbor does until he decides to hit the wall. I can both hear and feel that from across my room every time he does it.

I have too many needs. I’m too desperate. I’m about to hit the road. It’s no easier living like I am now than it was being homeless. So what difference does it make … Waiting on a job agency to get me a new job every couple months is not worth it to keep living in these conditions. I’ve had no fortune getting hired directly anywhere. If it was for a family and household than I would endure it, but as things are, there is no reason or rhyme to it …

My kids are all living lies. So what does that make my life?

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