Afflicted To The Teeth

I mentioned my teeth the other day. Apparently I’ve never said anything bout them before. Well the emotional stress of the last several years did more harm to to my body and health than. My teeth had been breaking apart in he past but I could always still smile. And for a while there I took care them pretty well. But then a few years ago they started breaking up again and nothing I did was stopping it. I finally got them to stop breaking when I just had 2 top front teeth left and my front bottom row is mostly there, but broken up as well. i hadn’t considered that stress could be the cause the same as it affected the rest of my health until someone pointed that out to me.

My first wife, her job was going to allow me to use the dental insurance to fix things back then. Almost 10 years ago. Then during my 2nd marriage I had another chance because they were going put me on a payment plan, but could not complete the job all at once, it would have taken months. Needless to say we never got around to it after they took all the measurements in my mouth.

Well now yesterday I broke on the top teeth that were left, as i wasn’t self conscious enough already. I was going to look into getting the screwed in kind, but those are way too expensive and no insurance would cover them. I didn’t have insurance anyway. Nor could I afford to pay for insurance from my last employer. Too much was being taken out of my checks, and I was paying or transportation. So its really embarrassing for a guy like me who use to be very athletic, charismatic and well dressed to become this out of shape, nowhere in life, broken down, depressed failure …

Everyone thinks being a Godly person is suppose to be filled with peace, joy and happiness, well if you’re one who shares the truth no matter the consequences, its entirely the opposite. You lose people you love, your kids are taken from you, every one hates you have no friends and you’re alone all the time drowning in your own regrets and a cesspool of memory and thought.

Many of the prophets in the bible were not at peace, they were so torn by the lost souls around them and nobody listened. But life was also different in those times. You could get away with living off the land and how a man should live. you were not trapped by as much legalism and government regulation. God has sustained me in regards to surviving. but I have no peace with so many loved ones out there living lies. I hurt more for their souls than for the actions they took against me, as well for my children who do not know I exist …

Certainly you have your moments of genuine worship and gratitude towards God. Sadly, in most of today’s churches all the celebrating and hooting and hollering is not the Holy Ghost, those people are bewitched more often than not. Churches are so filled with paganism, idolatry and self serving reasons for being there. Even people of the world do not go because they know the church is doing everything wrong. I blame the church for what has happened to this country.

God doesn’t “Bless America” the way we seek because we have turned our backs on Him in the interest of self. Nobody believed Noah with the ark, but we swallow up every bit propaganda and false flag, scare tactic news the government and media feed us. People like me don’t get invited to speak at churches. And look at us now …

So I don’t just feel like a failure. The church and family and countless others have failed me … I fear for their souls as much as I fear for my coming days. I don’t feel ready. I feel too jaded and corrupted. Too heavily afflicted.

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