I Got Nothin

“Now we exhort you, brethren, warn those who are unruly, comfort the fainthearted, uphold the weak, be patient with all.”

1 Thessalonians 5:14

The ministers of the gospel are described by their work, which is to serve and honor the Lord. It is their duty not only to give good counsel but also to warn the flock of dangers, and reprove for whatever may be wrong or improper.

The people should honor and love their ministers because their business is the welfare of men’s souls. And the people should be at peace among themselves, doing all they can to guard against any differences.

But love of peace must not make us wink at sin. The fearful and sorrowful spirits should be encouraged and a kind word may do much good.

We must bear and forbear. We must be long-suffering and keep down anger towards others.

… and then there is me. Who is always banished, abandoned and betrayed for my role in ministering or my attempts at doing so …

I have neither any real friends worldly or godly (except one man in Florida)

The only people whom I have ever known loyal love from are the kids, and they had no power or say in my removals from their lives, or for some of them, they have no knowledge that I even exist. So they live a life derived from lies and deception. Their mother’s souls and the souls of the children were my responsibility and I failed them all …

So now here I am living over a bar where nobody is going to listen to a word I have to say. Many people I know are aware that I should be in ministry, but that’s as far as their interest goes.

I’m hurting over the loved ones and the life I’ve been robbed of. Multiple trials, multiple train wrecks all finally have me at a stand still. I no longer what to or where to turn. Prayers and fasting didn’t preserve or save my livelihood here. The place where I finally accepted and believed in my role for God …

Now, I got nothin… I’m beaten.

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