More Than Words

Identity defenders claiming they’re the dogs who are saved. Wrong. A dog that is sick cannot be saved until it is first healed or cured of it’s illness. A dog who continues to return to its own vomit is like an addict.

Now there are going to be cases where a person is so mentally unsound and incapable of making moral choices on their own. Those individuals must unfortunately be left to God’s discretion.

There are also those born with extra each type of physical portions who have no control over that. They are also in a very difficult spot. But just like a person born with physical ailments and disabilities, they are left in God’s hands.

However, someone who consistently claims they are this or that. Such as when they say “I’m a diagnosed as Bipolar or ADHD so I am allowed to behave this way” … Wrong again. That’s pure arrogance and excuse making. Most people who are diagnosed with behavioral issues, are only acting perfectly natural. They’re falsely diagnosed so some doctor can make money off a new lab rat …

Some people are trapped in a life they do not know how to escape from, and are very miserable. They need our prayers more than our advice or criticism. They need more than just the words “Let Your will be done” …

Now I’m the first to say that faith without works is dead. That action mist at times be taken to help an individual or to change a situation. Although there also times when prayer is all we can do, but not as a lazy way out!

We are to pray for specific things, else nothing may ever change. “Ask and you shall receive” does not necessarily work when you say “if it is Your will” …

Its no different than when a spouse never says “I love you” to the other. It needs to heard aloud …

The Golden Farce

So this is the definition of a Golden Age:
“By extension, “Golden Age” denotes a period of primordial peace, harmony, stability, and prosperity. During this age, peace and harmony prevailed in that people did not have to work to feed themselves for the earth provided food in abundance.”
This sounds so stupid. First, the Earth has always provided for us.Second, we have to work to farm and garden and hunt.
We we do today is enslave ourselves to our master’s way of doing things so that we can go out and buy food from the Kings Ransom that they poison us with. So we can buy our rights back in order to hunt and farm the way we should. So we can “earn a living” this so called fake American Dream? Its a HOAX, and it always has been!
Maybe you’ve noticed that I don’t defend the Constitution. Because it was a Trojan Horse to gain a foothold to control our behavior. Everything we do to protest their system, was created by the same system’s inventors! Like trying to help an addict by giving him more …
I cannot live the way a man should or the way I want because I am stuck in and endless cycle of job hopping temp work. I’ve been homeless 3 times, been thru too many lost relationships and friendships, 2 cheating wives, and my overall physical health sucks. Right down to losing my teeth from all the stress.
Too many people think with a heart of gold and self interests and almost none with a heart of God. That means the church too. The church is why this country is the way it is. Because they don’t stand up to the system. They conform to it.

Image result for golden age

The Future Of Ignorance

Futuristic science fiction shows like Star Trek, Andromeda, others taught us to tolerate and even team up with the wrong people.

Fast and Furious showed us that it’s ok to use a mass murdering psychopath who just killed a hospital full of people and their friend to rescue a single child. The Federation, the Commonwealth, they did more to protect the interests of enemies to all people like Cardassians and Magog while doing nothing to help those who were lost, homeless, fighting for their freedom … rebels.

Star Wars was basically a space wide version of what we do with our military forces spread around the world.

Stargate Atlantis and Babylon 5 had a few things right. They stood their grounds against the evil forces of greed and warmongering.

Unfortunately in the real world there are just too many dumbed down, blind sheep to do anything about it. They hear reports of rebels as terrorists. They wear useless masks to protect against a non-existent virus that would stop a real virus to begin with. They chose to stay home out of fear and called that a lockdown …

The saddest thing about people is how they can stand for one thing and sell their souls to another. There is no consistency in society. Only confusion, division and pure ignorance …

Bullying, Abuse & Guns

I don’t typically support use of the police except in extreme matters. Such as when my firearm was recent stolen.

However, I also don’t support an abused spouse wasting their time by lying about how he or she was injured. Especially falsely reporting something like that they were mugged, and the police have to investigate that lie.

For starters people in general should be armed. I doubt most spouses would ever get physically abusive if they knew it could get them shot. 😀 I mean my sidearm was on my hip from morning til night. Not all the time, but for the most part. You don’t have to shoot to kill, you don’t even have to hit the abuser as long he or she knows your serious. And in today’s society you can record what’s happening to prove self defense, even against one’s own spouse if they should unfortunately and suddenly become a violent individual …

I also hate how an abused spouse gets into trouble if they finally do take their own actions against the abuser because no one else did or could. That’s not justice. That’s punishment for protecting yourself. Any jury who could convict a victim is sick. There are reasons why I would want a jury of complete strangers to judge me.

Of course it’s worse if the shooter suddenly acts as if they had no idea their abuser was shot …

Just like when I was in high school and everytime I stood up to a bully, I was the one sent home. All this anti bullying campaigning is bogus because we live under rule of bullying and violence against us. And all we do is tolerate it …

Highway To Nowhere

“In my vain life I have seen everything. There is a righteous man who perishes in his righteousness, and there is a wicked man who prolongs his life in his evildoing. Be not overly righteous, and do not make yourself too wise. Why should you destroy yourself?” Ecc. 7:15-16
 
The series Supernatural was originally suppose to end in season 5, and during that season, and I think 4 as well things that are currently happening were predicted. I previously posted about the virus, forced vaccinations and banning gatherings causing chaos and panic, but there is also stuff about storms. and here we are in the midst of those very things with a huge storm going up the coast.
 
Of course the only thing new is the masks that millions of blind sheep don’t even stand up against. I don’t wear one, and will not wear one, but where I am living nobody is forcing me to either.
 
Its honestly shameful and embarrassing to even be out in public. Not everyone is wearing a mask, but more people are now than there were two months ago. The only thing that’s spreading is stupidity.
 
“I turned my heart to know and to search out and to seek wisdom and the scheme of things, and to know the wickedness of folly and the foolishness that is madness. And I find something more bitter than death: the woman whose heart is snares and nets, and whose hands are fetters.” Ecc. 7:25-26
 
I feel like if I am going to be left with no choice but to hit the road, that I am essentially being driven to go to open spaces, even tho I do not feel ready for such a venture. Having been homeless 3 times before, and not having a vehicle or motorcycle to travel, drifting on foot in these times is not something I look forward to doing …
 
I am 40 years too late on the backpacking across country being a common thing anymore. With so much government marked land and no freedom to just set up camp anywhere, its rough. I went thru Indiana and Kentucky on foot, and the police were harassing me everywhere. I lack the knowledge to know which wooded areas I can freely travel thru and which back roads lead anywhere. I won’t have an active phone with GPS either.
 
All I know is everything I desire, that being a wife and home, a country living, etc … I’ve had a taste of family life and trying to start a ministry more than once. Those were the only times I was ever at peace and felt happy. I never had a plan b for life.
 
“Surely oppression drives the wise into madness” Ecc. 7:7
images

Feeding The Beast

“My loved ones and my friends stand aloof from my plague,
And my relatives stand afar off.
Those also who seek my life lay snares for me;
Those who seek my hurt speak of destruction,
And plan deception all the day long”

Psalm 38 :11-12

God is not to blame for the problems in the world, but I do understand people’s anger because He did banish Lucifer and left him to rule on Earth. I understand the misguided reasoning that God turned His back on His creation. Truth be told mankind has turned away from God, and it has at times become difficult to decipher between blessings from God or gifts from the devil that keep people blind.

Faith is proven during tragedy. Tho, there are the rare few people in the truth who do live decent lives. They’re family history is probably not riddled and dirtied with too much sin.

Unlike mine. I have been unable to escape whatever generational curse or sins of the father mysteries are in my ancestry. It has kept me from marriage and family life more than once. It has kept me from financial stability. I’ve been homeless 3 times and staring at the possibility again. My own children are either unaware of my existence or their mothers have raised them with lies. My oldest is at an age accountability now, and it scares me …

I fear for their upbringings as it is. The influences around them. I’m tired of being forced to constantly focus on my circumstances when people I love are lost …

“Confounded be all they that serve graven images, that boast themselves of idols” Psalm 97:7

 

eb713f585ecbce5d81c3e882753f87c2

People have become so self entitled, whether they’re poor, middle class or wealthy. We blame God for bad things in the world, but what do we do about them? Nothing! Those of us who have tried are shot down and rejected.

We don’t stand against the right things, we riot and destroy our own communities, we allow government, politics and media to control our every move and choice with fear and advertisement. We feed the very beast that we claim freedom from …

 

ccf17fbb9678202039c7715ecdb720e7

My frustrations are at people, at myself and yes at moments they are at God. I am no better than anyone else. I just know the reality of things, and don’t shy away from it.

That of course heavily contributes to why my life is the way it is. There is no balance for me. It’s all one sided. Whatever dark history is in my family line along with my own dark past combined with the persecution as well as personal and financial hardships. It’s all worked against me for over 4 decades …

Nothing I’ve ever done or said has made a difference or started any kind of revolution. I’ve seen people lose their jobs for helping me in my struggles. And others who have helped me eventually turn their backs on me as well because I remained steadfast in my beliefs on biblical truths.

Most people don’t believe it’s possible to have nothing because most people never experienced such a thing. Most people also have not been homeless 3 times and aren’t looking at it happening again.

I haven’t written a biblical message in many months because I am so weighed down with everything. It’s all can do just to kneel in prayer most of the time.

My messages in the past have included personal matters and experiences, but it’s different now. My mind is too cluttered with stress and my heart is too overwhelmed with emotion. Even if I may be having some spiritual breakthrough, my life in general is still in need of saving, and still desperate for stable normalcy …

“But my enemies are vigorous, and they are strong;
And those who hate me wrongfully have multiplied.” Psalm 38:19

 

612bf7418af15a974a4f283810a9a3c2

No Way Out

The feminist hypocrisy took over in more than just soap operas.

“I love you and I always will but that doesn’t matter, it’s over between us” … was a line from the series Charmed. Stupid double minded witchcraft.

Charmed did more than just inspire witchcraft. It evolved more into a feminist double standard hypocrisy and Leo, who was suppose to be an all powerful Angel became a whipped dog allowing himself to be bossed around …

So much of what we see today is the power that’s been given to women to ruin a man’s life. A man with money or just the right friends and influence can ruin a woman’s life, but a woman doesn’t need money, she can use the law …

I have no money, friends or influence. So it was easy for the mothers of my children to ruin me over and over again. I never had a back up for being a family man and minister. So here I am still in poverty, looking at being a homeless a 4th time, all because I’ve been left alone in a society where “white privilege” is a lie …

We see so many depictions of women with dragons or serpents, and it helps encourage “girl power” but the reality is that it’s the devil influencing such idealism. Feminism is not bout equality. It’s about control. The same is said for a certain identity illness. That is also about destroying manhood.

We are distracted by racial issues, fake fear mongering news about disease and war, so many false flags and paper tigers thrown in our faces as well as the entertainment and sports industries keeping us from revolting.

We think just because the political leaders are mostly men that means anything. They’re all puppets too, and women do a lot to influence things in politics and espionage just as they do in our churches, keeping them bewitched and outside of God’s truth …

My own defiance against the iniquities of society has contributed to my overall failure in life. The consequences of reactions from haters of truth have caused so much damage. Not only in my life, but in those of my children who even if any of them know about me, are being raised with lies …

It’s gotten so bad I can lose a job on only my second day for something that I could not possibly be faulted for as an untrained, unpracticed employee. Reasons and logic have never been needed for the universe to work against me. I’ve suffered tragedy after tragedy and betrayal after betrayal since before I was 10 years old. I’m 43 now, and my life is nothing but a dark, painful, lonely existence as a result of my efforts, my faith, and my boldness.

Even my prayers of late have not yet granted me a way out and nowhere to run …

 

Pride-By-Eric-J.-Gates-short-story-mystery-suspense-fbi-contemporary-fiction

Afflicted Pariah

I have tried getting my prayer warrior groove back and I just don’t seem to have it in me anymore. I’ve been beaten back down in battle so many times

I know from experience that heroism in stories and movies is not realistic. People who lose and sacrifice for things like the truth with the intent of saving others are usually suffering such loss and betrayal because of those people they tried to save. And they usually end up alone with no one …

Something they say I these hero stories is the stubbornness and constant defiance always makes things worse and the enemies more angry. However the heroes typically have a support system and are now always alone. Whereas I do not …

If I died right now nobody would know for days, maybe weeks when they came looking for the rent. Which at this point I may not even have …

Nobody online would ever know and there is no one to call and inform. If anyone were to get on my computer or devices and see my pages and files, who knows what they would do …

My kids and their mothers would never know. My own family would never know.

I know that in my current situation I should just hit the road as I’ve talked about, but like most things I just need the excuse that would justify it. Or I need a place to go, but nobody is out there waiting for me, or looking for me …

This is my persecution, my own personal, emotional Hell. I have no legacy. I have served no purpose beyond being like a sacrificial lamb so others can live in their life of lies.

voltaire1-2x

The Perfect Sad Story

I’ve concluded that the devil has enjoyed screwing with my life to keep me focused and worrying about myself in order to distract me from doing whatever it is I always believed I am suppose to be doing for God.
Yes I need steady work to survive, and I am no good alone, especially now going everyday with the knowledge that my kids and their mothers are all living a lie. Which really in turn makes me feel as though my life is a lie, but which part I do not know anymore. Is all this struggle and hardship the lie, or was the family life where I had begun an active ministry, and kept an active prayer life … was that the lie?
I can no longer decipher between what my reality should be and what my life actually is. Granted one can still be very active in prayer no matter the condition of their circumstances, that is not what I meant.
I have had my moments when I could pray and meditate despite the despair of my lost loved ones, but the added stress of knowing I could be homeless again for a fourth time is not helping to encourage things.
My life in general, my physical health, even my motivation is so badly damaged its like a bad habit continually trying to reach an unattainable goal or even hope …
I admit my own acts of sin over the years has likely contributed to much of my undoing. However, the actions of others have played a major role in keeping me down, such as being completely robbed the 2 jobs I mentioned previously that lasted less then 2 days earlier this week, and the job before that … thru no fault of my own.
I can make remarks like its a big a cosmic joke or the universe just won’t allow me to climb. I mean my own efforts haven’t changed anything. Faith and prayer certainly didn’t save either of my marriages. Its as if all I am doing is making the world more and more angry at me for even trying …
So you tell me just what i am suppose to do? There are no answers. There is no logic. No one understands it, no one has ever been able to explain it. A lot of people can’t accept how my life has always operated. Over the decades other people just keep saying it will get better soon. Worst cliche EVER!
I am so tired of being told how strong I am because I survived so many years of persecution and pain without drugs or drinking. I have not survived anything. My life is an utterly dark failure. Chapter after chapter of the perfect sad story …
I just seem to exist with no direction. I’ve been a tool of some evil’s sick entertainment, and I am not finding salvation to escape it …

Fallen Lighthouse - Portugal | More on Blog / Twitter | Flickr